- Home
- Relationships
- Divorce
Problems after Marriage
- By David Bishop
- Published 04/25/2008
- Divorce
- Unrated
Marriage is a bond between two people of different genders. Its a lifetime commitment for each other, a promise to be together in every walk of life, be it full of happiness or sorrows or a mixture of both.
How to Accept and Overcome a Divorce
- By Christina Sponias
- Published 02/7/2008
- Divorce
- Unrated
The future will be different and not necessarily sad. Now that you are alone, you can do things your own way and take advantage of new opportunities. Perhaps you can continue the studies you abandoned or renew contact with friends you’ve lost touch with. Perhaps now you can meet the right person and live a much better life than the one you had with your spouse.
Those were the days when the two worst labels to be attached to a woman were either "spinster" or "divorcee". Now spinsters are swinging singles and live it up while divorcees get back to being single and willing to mingle! Escalating divorce rates is not an overnight phenomenon but a gradual result of a combination of factors. Divorce: A Result of Changing Times and Social Mores Modern times are fast paced and hectic. Individuals want to live many lifetimes in this one. While marriage is still an important institution it is no longer considered the only way to co-habit or procreate. The average age for marriage is commonly on the rise. People with set patterns and beliefs do not really want to shake things around too much just to make a marriage work. If their foray into marriage fits into the scheme of things its fine, if not, divorce seems like the obvious choice before they carry on to their next destination. Extended families are less and less involved in marriage decisions and when things go wrong the two individuals decide the next course of action and do not necessarily seek advice from family. Many couples choose not to have children today, one less reason to remain in a marriage gone wrong. Divorce: the Result of Liberation and Empowerment of Women? The modern woman is independent, free and powerful. She makes her own decisions, pays for her lifestyle and doesn't suffer unacceptable behaviour from a spouse. With this new emancipation also comes low tolerance. A marriage that might have pulled along in the old days because of women sticking with it is no longer the case. A woman in an unhappy marriage sees no reason or has no financial need to stick on and clearly sees divorce as a preferred option. Also, with both the man and women pursuing their respective career paths there appears to be little time to work out issues and repair damaged relationships. Work demands take up so much time that many see it as less stressful to just get divorced and move on when there is fallout. I, Me, Myself and Divorce It is increasingly becoming an individualistic society. The needs, desires and wants of an individual occupy too much time to consider another's similar feelings. The one universally accepted mantra to make a marriage work is compromise. With individuals unwilling to compromise on their own wants and needs, marriage suffers and often times results in divorce. With both parties working, there is the concept of "my money" and "your money" versus the old fashioned "our money". Things being the way they are, non-agreement on financial issues more often than not, leads to couples deciding to part and go their own ways. Relaxed Divorce Laws and Social Acceptance Makes Divorce Easier The heir to the British throne is divorced and married again. That single telling statement gives one an idea of the phenomenon of divorce in the present day. It is not only more acceptable today but also the laws that make divorce enforceable are far more relaxed. People are no longer ostracized by society because they are divorced. In conventional societies and traditional homes, old-fashioned codes of conduct have given way to understanding the need of current lifestyles. Divorce is no longer considered taboo or the worst thing that could happen to two people. The dynamics of living in the modern world have changed. Everyday, new versions of relationships are established and while marriage is important it is no longer the central theme. Given the new parameters of living together, divorce is an option that perhaps offers a new lease of life, a new beginning, and another adventure to pursue. While from an outside perspective, it might seems that couples these days are giving upon marriage far too easily, the reasons are not so simple. We lead lives that are far removed from previous generations, we deal with stress that was hitherto unheard of, and our very definition of lifestyle and how we live has changed. Given this change, divorce can probably be seen as a rebellion against established rules that no longer suit the current climate. Divorce is perhaps a means to a different end.
. However, there is certainly a growing concern that what is more important in a divorce process is the intentions and opinions of the individuals concerned, rather than the mundane procedural aspects. Once the two spouses have made up their mind that a divorce is in the best interest of the entire family, there should be no reason that the judicial system should unnecessarily delay or prolong the actual legal procedure. The traditional social institutions are being reinvented and the existing social institutions are also undergoing a dynamic change. There is a growing awareness amongst the government and the judiciary that the general divorce procedure should be simplified and streamlined. It is not the sole prerogative of the law to create the necessary drag effect that should certainly accompany any important decision like a divorce. Alternate institutional arrangements like counseling and mediation are increasingly taking this onus on themselves. A DIY divorce is the outcome of such liberal intentions on the part of the people, state and judiciary. A DIY divorce is a procedure in which the two spouses represent themselves before a court of law to seek a divorce, instead of their solicitors. The main objective behind this growing trend towards DIY divorces is to minimize the wastage of time and money associated with the conventional divorce litigation and to disrobe the divorce process of its traditional, protracted and internecine legal warfare. Technically speaking, as per the English Law, it is not mandatory that a person should hire a solicitor to represent himself/herself before a court of law. However, there are certain genuine concerns which may compel us to rethink about the shortcomings of this novel strategy. With the increased secularization of society, a new thought has emerged, which considers the two spouses involved in a divorce to be more important than the process itself. DIY Divorce and its Advantages If the level of conflict between you and your spouse is mild or moderate and both of you share reasonable levels of communication, so as to sort out the issues, certainly you can opt for a DIY divorce. Care is to be taken that a DIY divorce is not relevant for all dysfunctional marriages. Situations in which the two spouses have been married only for a short period of time, they do not have considerable assets and debts and there are no children from the marriage, DIY divorce can certainly reduce the time and expenditure incurred on the divorce process. What is vital is not that the two spouses tend to agree or disagree. The main deciding factor is the willingness on the part of the two parties, to make their divorce less cumbersome. You can sit together with your spouse to resolve important issues like division of property, child custody, child and spousal support and can prepare a divorce settlement agreement to be filed with the court. There exist many authentic online services then can provide you with the requisite forms and documents and the relevant legal advice. A DIY divorce has many advantages over a conventional divorce. It not only saves the time and money, but provides the two spouses with a sense of control over their destiny. The two spouses are free to resolve their issues on their own, without any interference from a judge, in the privacy of their own homes. They can proceed with the divorce process at their own pace, without any external deadlines or appointments. Limitations of a DIY Divorce If the level of conflict between the two spouses is very high or they have major irreconcilable differences regarding the issues concerning their divorce, a DIY divorce will certainly not be a valid option. In situations involving marital abuse and domestic violence or when either or both the spouses are non-cooperative, a DIY divorce will not be advisable. Secondly, a divorce is a legal process which involves many technical intricacies. An individual with a lack of awareness or knowledge may end up with an undesirable outcome. In such a situation, it will be much better to hire the services of an expert solicitor. The other important factor is that a divorce is often an emotionally charged situation and rarely people have the necessary self control to retain a sense of stoic objectivity. In such a scenario, a solicitor may bring in the requisite legal acumen and logic to sort out the issues, in the best interest of his/her client. Ultimately it is for the two spouses to decide, which option suits them best and is appropriate to their circumstances.
When we encounter a marriage breakup, we are not always ready for managing the problems of divorce. Many people avoid divorce because they can neither afford it, nor remarry. In reality, the financial constraints of divorce are often hard to understand and the unhappy couples choose various other ways like separation by way of giving a chance to their better-halves. During the throes of divorce, it is easy to presume that love and affection will never recur or rematerialise. However, couples instead of seeking divorce directly, choose several other modes of separation. It is a sad state that the existing system pushes us to take action on divorces based on how we feel when we are at the foot of the emotional roller coaster and when we are most gripped by nervousness, panic, sorrow, remorse, and shame. As a result, people tend to make shortsighted decisions based on emotional reactions that do not take into account anyone's long-term interests.
Clean Break Consent Order
- By jameswalsh
- Published 08/3/2007
- Divorce
- Unrated
Clean Breaks The Matrimonial Causes Act of 1973 allows couples to completely divide their finances at the time of divorce. Called ‘clean break’ this is possible if:
- Couples have limited assets
- Have no children
- One member earns while the other takes care of home.
But she did not let this affect her too much. She analysed the problem with her husband and realised that divorce was the best option. They agreed upon subjects relating to custody of their daughter, financial maintenance and belongings, before hiring a lawyer.
But the problem is, once you have decided on the split, the worst phase follows, as you are totally confused as to how to go about it. Once the process is under way, it will get executed, but the struggle is to get it going at all. All of us are unique individuals, and therefore, we have all been blessed with our unique set of problems. There is no point in claiming that a single textbook example will be applicable for everyone, but one may at least try to gather together some of the usual ways of getting down to working concretely on a divorce. The Home Front Many couples feel that the best way to handle divorce when it comes to the rest of the family is by maintaining a stoic calm and dignity. There are also others who hold a diametrically opposite view to this, and feel that the more one speaks about the divorce, the better would the healing be. Before you decide your strategy, there are some matters you need to take care of.
Post-Divorce - Topics for Discussion on Childcare Though both the parents remain separated, it is essential for them to function as a single entity as far as the child is concerned. They need to act in an expert manner so that the transition for the child should not only be smooth but also not be felt. When it comes to child care and development, some of the topics on which you might need to hold discussions with your ex-spouse are as follows:

Divorce