Human relationships can be quite difficult to manage. Each one of us has his or her own personality, preferences, ideals, and history.  Each of us is entirely unique.

            When a couple decides to get married, they don’t know how their life together will turn out.  If they are too young and immature, or if their personalities are still forming and they are not aware of what it takes to make a marriage successful, the marriage may not last.

            If their parents influenced them to get married, or if they married the boyfriend or girlfriend they had in college, their life together can be a disaster. In many if not most of these cases, the marriage won’t work. 

            I know a few couples who got married after knowing each other for 15 years. They are very happy together because they grew up together, did everything together, and are still together today.

            However, these relationships are the exception, not the rule. 

            Today we are accustomed to people getting divorced easily.   But it’s not because relationships are more difficult now than in the past—marriage has always been difficult.  The difference is that today people have the freedom to divorce, while in the past it wasn’t so easy. 

            But even though divorce is common today, it feels like the end of the world when it happens.   That’s because it really is the end of your world.

            You had many plans and dreams.  You spent a lot of time, energy, and money on the wedding.  You made sacrifices. You tried so hard to please your husband or wife.  But now everything is lost and you feel that your entire life has been wasted.  And even worse, you still love him or her.  You hate the idea of being alone. You wish you were still married and still together…   

And if you have kids, things are really difficult.  Everything for you is dark and very sad. 

            However, you also know that you are not the only one and that you are going to survive.

            The future will be different and not necessarily sad. Now that you are alone, you can do things your own way and take advantage of new opportunities.  Perhaps you can continue the studies you abandoned or renew contact with friends you’ve lost touch with. 

            Perhaps now you can meet the right person and live a much better life than the one you had with your spouse.

            Time will heal you and your wounds will disappear. You live in a very big world with a lot of people. Among them, there is surely someone ideal for you!

            So, start travelling, going to parties, accepting invitations from friends, and doing what you like but couldn't do before because your spouse didn't let you. Be grateful because you are alive today.

            Of course, if you are a mother or a father, don’t forget that you got divorced from your spouse but not from your kids. You must be close to them. Don’t look at them as if they are a burden: they are a precious gift and they will teach you many important things. A person who has kids learns many important truths in life.

            Next time be more careful.  Instead of accepting things you dislike about a person because you’re in love, make sure you get what you need from your companion before you get married.